Penny's 2 cents

Cancer is when our own bodies betray us. How do you fight that? How do you fix what's broken without casualties within your body? 10 inches of colon, 60% of a liver, there will be more.

Our weapon against cancer is chemo. We have no cure, no immunization against all cancers, we have chemo. A weapon we can only use once cancer has had a head start and caused it's damage. Our weapon is like a grenade. Destroy all and the good can grow back.

In a way I feel like this is just getting started. All the appointments, radiation, infections, surgeries, butt drains, all of it was training for chemotherapy. What an oxymoron. A chemical designed to kill, coupled with the word therapy. BADGOOD. That about sums it up. You just don't know how to feel.

I came to a realization this time around while Dan was in the hospital. Cancer striking Dan has been very personal to me, naturally. It's so hard sometimes not to own it as though it were my own. It's as close to being my cancer without being my cancer as it can be. I can't think of anything else like this. Friends and family ask questions and I want to answer. Doctors make decisions and I want to challenge them. I'm constantly wanting to take over, because it's my cancer I own it. But I don't. At times this can be the most frustrating 'seat' in the world. Front row and centre, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Fun in the sun

It's been too long since my last post. But I'm sure you've figured out by now that when it comes to this blog, no news is generally good news.

The past week has seen us keeping a low profile and enjoying the weather. The kids are loving the sun and spending lots of time outside. We bought a $20 inflatable pool from Crappy Tire and set it up yesterday. Both Carly and Andrew as well as a few other kids from the neighborhood spent the entire afternoon playing in the water. As a responsible parent I was required to sit and supervise the entire affair from a reclining beach chair, beverage in hand.

When I said no news is good news that wasn't entirely true. I spent the early part of this week coming off my pain meds. They say that there's no withdrawal from them as long as your taking them for pain but this is the second time that I've had trouble coming off oxycodone. I was feeling tired, lethargic, had no desire to eat, and had trouble sleeping. But my worst symptom was feeling incredibly down mentally. Its not like me to be depressed and withdrawn so this part of the withdrawal (if that's what it was) was the hardest part. It lasted for about 3 days but things seem to be better now and life is good.

I'm still in the recovery phase from my liver surgery. I can't do a sit up to save my life but other than that I'm feeling pretty good. My next scheduled trip to the hospital will be the week of July 13th. That week I see my medical oncologist, my liver surgeon, and Don, my colorectal surgeon. The appointment with the liver surgeon is just a follow up from my surgery so that should be straight forward. The appointment with Don is to take out this drain in my butt. Its been in for what feels like forever and I can't wait to get it out so I can sleep on that side again. I hope he's ready to pull the trigger and yank this thing out. I just hope its done its job. The appointment with my medical oncologist will be the most interesting. The last time I saw her she said the plan was to do 6 months of chemotherapy following my liver surgery. I think that's still the plan but it will be interesting to see what she says. While my surgeries have been tremendously successful, post op chemotherapy is an important part of the treatment to make sure that the cancer is gone. Cancer starts at a cellular level, and even though all the tumors have been removed, chemo is my best chance of being truly cancer free. I'm not looking forward to the chemo but its one of those things you just have to do.

Sad news today about MJ and Farrah.

The Good News

Here is the good news of the day:

1) I got released this morning. I'm home with my family and feeling pretty happy that I don't have to suffer through another day of hospital hockey puck chicken pot pie.

2) Before I left the hospital this morning I got the pathology report back from the lab and it couldn't have contained better news. The two metastatic spots in my liver were completely and successfully removed. They investigated the entire resected part of the liver and found no more cancer, including at the margins where it was separated from the remaining liver. The doctor who told us the results said that this was the "best possible scenario for someone in my position". I have to say I am nothing short of ecstatic.

3) Since I'm home, I can go to Coldplay tomorrow night (thanks for letting me have the tickets back Gill).

I would say "that's all" but frankly that's a pretty impressive list.

Ouch!!!!

It's about 1:45. Here is the latest:

I just had my JP drain removed by the nurse. Man did that ever hurt! The JP was the one that goes in on my left side and goes all the way across my body on the inside and ends at the rightmost terminus of the liver. The portion of the tube that's inside my body is actually flat, perforated with holes for drainage and is much larger than the hole through which it must exit when removed. It's size and location made for a very painful removal. I'm glad Penny was here to hold my hand.

Now I'm just sitting in my new room waiting for them to come and take out the central line in my neck. I have been reassured that this procedure is much less painful than removing the JP drain. I hope they're right.

A quickie

I have lots happening today and a few people coming to see me so I'll make this quick. The next 24 hours should go something like this:
-6am remove epidural
-6am Penny arrives
-9-12 get coffee and visit with friends
-this afternoon: remove liver drain and central line
-later today meet with Doctors and pain team to discuss plans for release
-tomorrow afternoon get released and head home(?)

These plans are all subject to change without notice (but I might be home tomorrow. Yahoo!)

Moving on up

Today was a great day for me at the hospital. I spent last night without a nose hose or a foley catheter. Waking up without the fear of damaging some much needed and much used organ from a paralyzing first step out of bed was a big relief on the mind. It also made for an easier day mobility wise since every tube removed is one I don't have to haul around with me. Other significant events of the day included my ileostomy returning to service in a noisy and putrid sort of way. I also enjoyed peeing into a toilet. This is always a relieving sight for a guy since standing up to take a leak is one of our unique physical talents.

I had a plethora of visitors today which always makes the day go fast. Penny, as always, was here first thing in the morning to meet with doctors. Like I've said before, having a guy that is flying high on fentanyl and ecstatic that his wiener still works may not be the best guy to send in with the doctors by himself. In the early morning Sandi (Penny's Mom) showed up with Carly and Andrew. They were both excited to see me and I them. I was glad they didn't play strange. They both took turns having a ride on my IV pole.

Thanks so much to everyone else who came by today. It's always great to see family and friends, even if the drugs I'm on make it seem like I can't tell who you are and what planet your from.

A great day in the Foothills Hospital

I just thought I'd make a quick blog post here before I physically and chemically (gotta love that little blue pill!) turn in for the night. My great day started out when Penny got here at 6:45. Shortly therefter the doctors arrived and said that due to my rapid progression I could remove the nose hose and the cock catheter. The removal of those tubes made my day. I spent the time dozing in bed, going for walks, sitting outside and visiting with Nicky, Bruce, Sandi and Jim. Penny came back at about 8pm tonight and we got in my tiny little bed and watched a movie. It was a good time.

Tomorrow I'm looking forward to potentially getting my epidural out, potentially starting to eat and drink and visiting with anyone who makes the trek over here.

The Start of a Good Day

Its been a good morning. I had a good sleep thanks to my new bed and Penny doing a...

Dan isn't able to finish this but he told me what he wanted to say and asked that I finish. He had a great sleep last night thanks to the blue pill. He's still feeling the effects however and is therefore very drugged right now. Last night I got him all set up with a better bed. This time around he had a newer bed, but frankly it sucked. He was set on sleeping in the chair. So after his night time walk he sat in the chair and I could see he wasn't happy about the outlook for the night. He insisted he was fine. But I went and talked with the nurse and we did a little switch-a-roo with another bed that was empty. He was VERY happy once this was done.
This however just got me in trouble with the day's nurse. Since another patient with the same bed as Dan had is asking to switch hers today, she lied to her and I called her on it.... I have a hard time watching people who are so uncomfortable, having the ability to fix it and the nurse out right lies to her. It SUCKS being at the mercy of others.

This morning Dan got up for a walk, then we were washing him up. Just in the nick of time he got some action in his ostomy bag. This basically sealed the deal for Dan feeling confident enough to take out the NG tube. Not 10 mins later the Dr's were around and ordered it out. Also to our surprise they were able to take out the foley. Last time his epidural block was so low they needed to keep the foley in while he had his epidural. Not so this time. So he lost the NG tube and the foley today. Taking it easy on the liquids and foods though.

After that he was feeling so free he ventured outside. A little sunshine does the body good. What a morning, he's absolutely passed out right now.

Dan would love visitors, pop in anytime. Please don't bring anything though, nothing needed and not much space in this place.

Penny.

Best Scar EVER!

You see why they call it the Mercedes Benz. Below you can see my ostomy bag on the left as you look at the picture and on the right is where the Jackson Pratt drain comes out (covered with dressings). This drain is laying at the site of where my right liver was to drain any excess fluid that collects.

I'm feeling pretty good and will probably let them take my NG tube out tomorrow. Tonight I get to take a little blue pill to help me get some sleep. We've had some computer problems at home and at the hospital. That's why there was some delay in posting my scar picture.

Thanks to everyone who has sent e-mail or commented on the blog. Your support is greatly appreciated.

Friday? Really?

No concept of regular weekly life around here. Dan's doing great. He didn't sleep so well last night. It seems he needs to pick which evil he wants to deal with. The epidural has a side effect of making you itchy, everywhere. Fortunately they have a drug for that. Unfortunately that drug brings on the pain at his incision site, and keeps you awake. So itching that keeps you up, or pain and no sleep.... Hmmm. He's been a trooper though and walking a lot!

The Dr's were in this morning and wanted to take out the NG tube. Dan really didn't want them too, as he put it he'd rather have it in an extra day than have to have them put it back in. Clearly re-living when they put it in last time was not on his list. This time around the tube was "installed" while he was under, much preferred. So for today they clamp it off and see how he does.

The Dr's also did the unveiling of the new scar! Wow! They call it the Mercedes Benz. Hey if you're gonna do it, go big or go home! Dan's reaction when he saw it I first read as stunned, several moments went by where he just stared at it, I think even the Dr's were worried. True to his character he followed with a "Cool!" And then had me snap a picture.

Overall we are all a little tired today but doing great!

Penny.

Noon update

A lot has happened in the past few hours so I thought I'd post an update.

I talked with my surgical team this morning and found out all the details from my surgery yesterday. They said everything went well. Before they removed the right portion of my liver they did an ultrasound of the left side. They didn't find any more lesions on that side which suggests the cancer didn't spread there which is good news. Then they removed the right side of my liver without any issues. While doing this they did some quick investigating in that area of my abdomen and couldn't see any sign of cancer anywhere else which is good. Then they sewed me up. I feel pretty good for a guy that had surgery 22 hours ago.

My main complaint now is all the tubes/bags/buttons that I'm attached to. Here is a list:

-Epidural
-NG tube (nose hose)
-IV line (in my wrist)
-Central line which has 3 connection points (this is in my neck and goes directly into my heart)
-Oxygen nose prongs
-Butt drain
-Abdominal drain (from my liver surgery)
-Pain button (clipped to my gown)
-Nurse call button (also clipped to my gown)
-Dual inflating compression stockings on my legs (to prevent DVT or blood clots)

-Oh ya, and the foley, aka catheter

That's a lot of crap to deal with when you try and roll over in bed, sit up or walk. I need to have help with walking not because I'm weak but because I need someone to manage all my tubes.

One not so pleasant thing I had done today was a dressing change on the central line in my neck. The central line is held in place by 2 clamps that are sewn onto the skin on my neck. That is covered by a dressing to protect the site. So when they went to change the dressing they found that one of the clamps that holds the line in place came undone. So in order to get it back in place they had to get a Doctor in, remove the old clamp and sew a new one in place. Because they installed the first one in my surgery I didn't have to sit through the stitching. Let me tell you, the neck is not a nice place to get stitches. The skin is very sensitive, you can't see what is happening, there are 3 people right in your face and you have a sterile drape covering you head and face. I got really claustrophobic and started shaking badly. Penny had to calm me down and I think I almost broke her hand off I was squeezing so hard. But it worked out in the end and they got it installed properly. Well worth saving the line, since a regular IV has to be taken out and a new one started every 3 days. This one can stay in tell I go home. Less poking in the end.

That's all for now. Penny is off to take Carly to school and I'm going to have a sleep.

Morning

Just waking up. Had a decent night but I've got so many tubes attached its hard to get comfortable. I have an NG tube also which sucks royally but it seems to be more comfortable than the last one which is good. Still no food or drink but that's ok. I can wait. I didn't get my old room which is too bad. I'm in a 4 person room but my roomates are all quiet which helps. The nurse is still in here lots at night to check 4 sets of vitals and draw blood from 4 people, all of which requires lights to be turned on.

I am awaiting a visit from the doctors. I still don't know how things went yesterday for sure. I will pass that info on when I get it.

Out and Sleepy

Dan was out and in his room about 830pm. When he first woke up he had some pain. The beauty of the epidural is they just turn it up and all is well. He's very sleepy of course. Among some of his many tubes, his favorite NG tube is back. The is the lovely tube which runs up your nose and down into your stomach. It sucks everything out so you don't throw up. The means no food or drink until they take that out! Once things are travelling the right way they can remove this. So as the nurse tells me," He farts it's out."

His vitals (blood pressure, respiration, oxygen levels and temperature) are awesome!! This makes me incredibly happy. After Dan's last surgery his blood pressure was high, he ran a fever, was breathing like he was running up stairs and his heart rate was 110 bbm or higher. All this went on for the entire first week. The Dr's and nurses all thought it was his body reacting to the surgery. Upon reflection Dan and I thought it was the morphine and hydramorphine which he was getting at a steady flow through the epidural. This time around the epidural is delivering fentanyl and so far so good. Pain is good and I haven't been asked to rub ice on his forehead and eye lids....

Dan didn't get his regular room and bed and is in a room with 3 other patients. He did score the window which looks west. It is very quiet and dark right now. Hope to hear from the Dr's tomorrow morning about how it all went.

Thanks to everyone who sent emails, called and commented on the blog. I have read all of them to Dan tonight. Such great support. Thanks to everyone who was thinking about us today. We really appreciate it all!

Another thanks to my basketball team, who has once again funded my parking at the hospital through all this. Thanks Girls!!!

That's it for now
Penny

Dan is in now

Its was 1245 when said my goodbyes

Dan went in and got all his tubes attached, there are many this time.

The liasion nurse has just called and the actual surgery began at 145pm. They are reluctant to give you an estimated end time, but originally the 5 hour mark was told to us.

Dan was in great spitits going in. He's a rock!

I'll keep you posted.

Penny

Waiting for surgery

I'm at the foothills hospital now waiting to get prepped for surgery. I'm hungry and thirsty and a bit nervous but overall I'm feeling good and ready to get this show on the road.

I met with my colorectal surgeon (Don) this morning to discuss my butt drain. He was happy that my pain was under control and that the flow had lessened substancially. He didn't remove the drain since it is doing its job and not causing me any pain (Thanks to the gabapentin!). I will see him sometime over the coming week while I'm in the hospital to further discuss removing the drain. I will probably have a CT scan to make sure the void has started to close up.

Ok. I'm all dressed up in my sexy gown and ready to head to the OR. I have a feeling I'll be waiting around for a bit since I'm the third case of the day. I hope he's as good in the afternoon as he is in the morning!

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Type and screen

I'm off to the lab to do my type and screen blood work for tomorrow. I think everything else is ready. My bag is packed (well I actually didn't unpack it from my trip to the hospital a week ago...) and the grass is cut. My parents are driving out from Victoria today to help out here for the next few weeks and Penny's parents will also be around to help out. Thanks to everyone for all their support and encouragement, food and baking, and help with the kids. I hope a non-cancer related opportunity presents itself in the future for us to pay you all back.

Lights, camera, ACTION!

Wow. Things happen fast when you make the right call at the right time. This afternoon I called my liver surgeon Dr Sutherland and spoke with his secretary. I told her how my surgery had been cancelled a week ago and that I was still waiting for it to be rescheduled. She told me that I called at the right time since someone had called earlier in the day and cancelled their surgery. She said their spot was mine if I wanted it. I said that's great when is it. She said Wednesday. I said this Wednesday like two days from now? She said yes. Hmmm. After about seven seconds to mull it over I told her to sign me up.

So tomorrow I get clear fluids only, then nothing to eat after midnight and then Wednesday afternoon I get 60% of my liver taken out. Wow. It sounds easy if you say it fast. I'm actually glad I didn't have much lead up time to my surgery. I would have dreaded it with each approaching day. This way I was able to live my life like usual until two days before surgery and then Bammm! I have to deal with all the set up and stress all at once. Although it is more stressful this way I think its better.

So there you have it. Surgery Wednesday June 10. 4 months to the day after my colon surgery. Good times.

Canoeing and butt drains

It seems I don't update this page as much when I'm home enjoying the nice weather as I do when I'm marooned in a hospital bed. Now that it's raining and 5 degrees out I miraculously have been able to find time for an update.

This week has been good. The gabapentin and percoset are keeping the pain mostly at bay. I still have isolated incidents where it hurts but for the most part the pain is under control. It's nice to be able to get back in the swing of things around the house and actually contribute to the tasks at hand rather than sitting on the couch like a bump on a log. I am pretty much back to my usual self. The only household task I have trouble with is picking things up off the ground. So Penny is still stuck doing most of the clean up while I stand at the sink and do dishes. I think it's a fair trade off.

I was feeling well enough Wednesday to rent a canoe for the day and head out to the reservoir with Penny and the kids. We didn't go for long because a) my but still hurts if I sit still for too long and b) the kids have a time limit of about 45 minutes in the canoe before they need to get out and do something different. So we paddled around for a while and then sat on shore while the kids threw rocks (into the water - not at each other). We had great weather too which helped. It was about 23 degrees and sunny. Hopefully there will be many more boat trips this summer.

I have an appointment next Wednesday with Dr Buie to discuss the state of the drain in my butt. I'm hoping he'll take it out since the flow has diminished and any fluid that does come out is almost clear. He said I can have my surgery with the drain in if need be so now I'm just waiting on a call from Dr. Sutherlands office to let me know when my new surgery date is. I was going to call him today and offer a gentle reminder that I'm still waiting but we've been out all day so I guess I'll have to make that call on Monday.