The Club Can't Even Handle Me Right Now. Really?

I'm glad the Internet and YouTube didn't exist when I was growing up so there was no risk of embarrassing myself in front of the whole world like this.

Germany

It's looking like my trip to Germany will take place in late February, hopefully on the 20th or 21st. I still need to confirm details with the clinic but that's the date they suggested. That time frame allows me to get another two rounds of chemo in (on the 1st and 15th) and then rest and recuperate for five days before the trip. I'm looking forward to a change of scenery and seeing a hospital other than the Foothills here in Calgary. All the pictures of the place look great.

I've never really felt the desire to see Europe but that's changing a bit now that I can actually see myself there. In reading a little about Germany for this trip, I've found myself eager to see some of the sights and travel around a bit. I'm not sure that this will be the trip for exploring much though. I see the chemo and a potentially action packed hospital schedule limiting the opportunities for sightseeing. I guess I'll just have to make another trip sometime. There is that place in Germany that does photodynamic therapy. Perhaps that will give me the opportunity to see more of the Deutschland?

Dead Ducks

Here's an interesting and enlightening opinion piece by Steve Maich from Canadian Business on the subject of dead ducks in Syncrude's oilsands tailings pond in November. It's old news now but his take really makes you think...

You'd have to be a sadist to enjoy watching a bird in its death throes, thrashing about in an oily swamp. Images like the ones that emerged from the Alberta oilsands last week, where about 300 ducks made the deadly mistake of landing in toxic tailings ponds during a freezing rain storm, get people feeling emotional. Most of us prefer not to peek into the messy inner–workings of the energy economy.
Sure, we all know that when we drive we are depleting a finite resource and pumping nasty chemicals into the air. But our filling stations are so neat and tidy we eat apple fritters and drink coffee while we pump our gas. And yes, we know that our homes aren't cozy warm thanks to the generosity of the heat fairy. But our furnaces silently suck gas from pipes that run beneath our roads, and come with Energy Star stickers to reassure us that we are good people.

So when we see some poor bird, feathers slicked with brownish goo, our instant reaction is to scream "Shame!" And then we change the channel before our forebrain starts percolating with uncomfortable questions. For instance: how many dead ducks are we willing to accept for our standard of living?

Tough question that. We're supposed to say none, right? We will not sacrifice a single innocent mallard in the service of our pampered, fuel–sucking modern existence. God bless the ducks, and their little green heads.

Feel better? Great, except that hunters typically kill 125,000 ducks every year in Alberta according to Ducks Unlimited. That's one province, every year … for sport. But you don't hunt right? Do you drive? Collisions with motor vehicles kill well over 80 million birds each year in North America. Roughly 10,000 birds die annually in Toronto by slamming their little heads into the sides of tall glass buildings at night — not as a byproduct of some much bigger industrial purpose, but because we can't agree to turn the lights off when we leave the office. Guess what else has a nasty habit of killing birds? Wind turbines. They don't produce carbon, but they are efficient bird guillotines. Michael Fry of the American Bird Conservancy estimates wind farms kill at least 75,000 birds a year in the U.S.

I don't share these statistics merely to harp on the hypocrisy of city dwellers who revile the oilsands, but to point out that nearly everything we do has some kind of environmental cost. Dead ducks represent one of the many sad compromises of a world that remains utterly oil–dependant. That angst you feel at watching them thrash around is what psychologists call "cognitive dissonance" — defined (roughly) as the discomfort that comes from holding conflicting views simultaneously. For example, many of us believe both of the following statements: a) It's cruel and wrong to kill animals unnecessarily. b) Bacon sure is tasty. Awkward.

Three common ways of dealing with cognitive dissonance are a) denial; b) justification (hey, we gotta eat); and c) blame somebody (mean farmers with their tasty, addictive bacon).
As we try to square our energy consumption with the sight of ducks dying, most of us head for option c) — the warm glow of self–righteous indignation.

Politicians express "deep frustration" that the ducks died, just weeks after the province fined Syncrude $3 million for an even bigger duck disaster two years ago. Environmentalists scream about avian genocide. News anchors furrow brows and shake heads. And we think to ourselves, "You know, if those oil companies weren't so greedy and stupid and irresponsible, then those ducks would still be alive and
I wouldn't be sitting here feeling guilty about the 80–litre fuel tank in my driveway. Shame!"
We want to believe that all of the negative stuff that flows from our modern consumer society should be manageable and preventable...by somebody else. Reality is messier.
The companies in the oilsands use air cannons and flares and various other novel tricks to keep the birds away. They are investing hundreds of millions of dollars in technology that will shrink and detoxify and eventually eliminate tailings ponds over the next 20 years. But in the meantime, the solutions are imperfect. Our presence and propagation on this planet is not especially conducive to robust animal health, and these 300 are not the last ducks that will make an ill–advised stopover in the ponds near Fort McMurray.

Once we face that, we can have an honest conversation about the costs and benefits of progress. The way to deal with our cognitive dissonance is not with denial or blame, but by focusing on the justifications.

Your dinner was slaughtered. Your shoes were made by someone who would desperately like to swap lives with you. And for the time being, ducks best beware — we need the oil.

There's An App For That

I think this could be huge. It might take a little while to develop but it will help so many people in the end. The cancer community needs a way to share up-to-date information in an efficient way.

getyourbuttseen.ca

Colon Cancer affects about the same number of men and women
If detected early colon cancer is about 90% curable
Visit getyourbuttseen.ca to send someone a picture of your asset and encourage them to get their butt seen.

CT Images

CT of my lungs 1, originally uploaded by DPC Tutt.

I went to the Sheldon Chumir clinic yesterday to pick up a copy of the radiologists report and a CD with the images from my scan. They charge you if it's for your personal files but if its for a doctor they will send it directly for free. In my case I gave her the address of my doctor in Germany, she took one look at the address and said "why don't I just give this to you and you can send it yourself". I agreed hapily, having avoided the $33 fee. So now I can see the images my self AND send them to Germany. two birds with one stone.

Identifying the nodules in these images is hard. They look very much like blood vessels and bronchioles of which there are many. The only difference is that the tumor nodules don't show any vessel-like geometry when you slice through the different sections. Each image is a 5mm slice.

Off to see Lupichuck now to work on a plan going forward.

CT Results

Finally some good news:

"Multiple modular densities of soft tissue attenuation are present in both lungs. Given the patients history of colonic malignancy the primary diagnostic consideration is that of metastatic disease. The number of nodules and their volume is stable in the interval between exams."

I take that to mean 1) there is no growth of existing nodules 2) there are no new nodules/tumors anywhere and 3) both 1 and 2 above seem to indicate that my current chemotherapy regimen is doing it's job.

Have yet to discuss what this all means as far as Germany and chemo go but wanted to share the news ASAP.

Spokane

Spokane Federal building, originally uploaded by DPC Tutt.

The trip to Spokane went as well as could be expected. Because of the private family nature of the situation I will hold off on providing details at this time. I would however like to extend my heartfelt thanks to the friends who attended in support of our family. It's great to have you in our life and Nicky, Bruce, Matt and I all appreciate your friendship.

On the cancer front I still don't have results from the scan on Tuesday. I'm honestly in no hurry to hear them either but as future treatment depends on the results, I suppose I should face that music sooner rather than later. On the drain front I seem to have that sorted out for the time being. I found a way to minimize the smell and pain of the drain using a bunch of ostomy supplies. Best of all about half the cost is covered through my AADL plan.

We're off to Radium Hot Springs for the weekend for a change of scenery and maybe a bit of skiing. Hopefully the weather cooperates.

Scanning, again

Just sitting, waiting for my CT scan at the Sheldon Chumir health centre downtown. I'm getting pretty good at waiting. I've had lots of practice. This facility is great. The waiting room for the diagnostic imaging department is right at street level with lots of huge windows and lots of light. Not at all like the vault in the basement of the Foothills hospital where you feel cut off from the real world. The only irony here is that all the smokers tend to gather right outside the window to puff on their butts. It's pretty disgusting to watch them all cough and spit and hawk loogies while they toke away. If I was a little more outgoing I might venture outside and give them a lecture on the dangers of smoking. But that's not me and I don't want to get in a fight with the tech who is about to give me a scan, so instead I'll just sit here and write about it.

I'm off to Spokane this afternoon for a day to support a family member. With all my bags and drains it could be an interesting time if I get sent through the body scanner at the airport.

Supper Time

This was good. Very good. And the kids cleaned their plates too which is always a bonus. The recipe is a blend of 2 or three other pork tenderloin dishes.

Apricot Honey-Mustard Pork Tenderloin:

• 1 tbsp Dijon Mustard
• 1/8 cup honey
• 1 tbsp apricot jam (substitute some other jam here if need be)
• 1 tsp soy sauce
• sprinkle taragon (I didn't have any but it tasted fine without)
• Some Creole seasoning
• 1 good sized pork tenderloin
• enough olive oil to coat a medium skillet

1. Combine mustard, honey, jam, soy sauce and tarragon in a bowl. Blend well.
2. Heat olive oil in medium skillet, sprinkle meat with Creole seasoning (Whatever that is - I used shrimp taco spice instead) and brown tenderloin on all 4 sides. 1-2 min/side.
3. Put your pork in a baking dish and put it in the oven for 15 mins at 375 degrees.
4. Brush that meat generously with honey-mustard mixture and roast another 15 mins (internal temp should be about 165 degrees when done)
5. Rest (the meat) 5 mins before serving.
6. Add a little water to the roasting pan and heat over low heat on the stove using the drippings in the pan to make gravy. Drizzle over pork and potatoes.

I served it with mini potatoes and fresh grape tomatoes, snap peas and mushrooms. Try it out. It's fast and easy. And good.

Happy New Year!