Nuts

At some point, every male learns a universal truth: It hurts when you get hit in the nuts. Some learn earlier than others, but eventually we all learn the eye-watering-hunched-over-breath-taking truth. Some of us learn through personal experience while others learn by watching the unfortunate exploits of others.

The other day, Andrew was trying to get my attention. I was busy talking with Penny and cooking supper at the time so I was most definitely preoccupied. When whining didn't work he moved on to whining and tapping me on the leg. When that didn't work he moved on to whining louder and hitting me on the leg. When one of his attention-seeking hits scored a direct hit on my "batteries" he was pleased to find that he had my full, undivided attention. My reaction was one of surprise mixed with pain with humorous undertones. Because we all know that as much as being hit in the junk always hurts, it is also almost always funny. So to get my attention with a scowl and a smile at the same time was his wish coming true.

Since that time, Andrew intermittently remembers my reaction and tries to repeat it. Sometimes his lack of a poker face gives him away and I am able to take cover before impact but other times he surprises me in a decidedly unpleasant way. I am now constantly on the lookout for sneak crotch attacks from my three year old. There is no telling when they will come. In fact yesterday at his music class he got me and then told the whole class that "Sometimes I hit my daddy in the penis". That got a good bit of laughter from everyone there as well as the teacher.

I guess the only thing to do is wait this ball busting phase out. For while he doesn't feel the same pain now, one day he will. And while I hate to see Andrew in pain, there is no doubt in my mind that when the day comes that he takes one in the berries, I will be there to sympathize, but don't be surprised if I have a little smile on my face at the same time.