I hate Chemo, Again

Well it's back to reality now that chemo is once again part of my life. I hate it. It fucks up my life and the lives of everyone around me. It's the only medicine I've ever taken that makes me feel worse rather than better. It makes me depressed, physically sick and severly fatigued. And all that without any promise of a cure. Stupid shit.

I got my latest round of chemo on Tuesday and have suffered through a few days of crap but now am slowly starting to feel better. I had a craving for KFC last night so I drove there with a barf bucket on my lap and got some chicken. I was able to eat that and some really good salad that Penny made so I'm keeping up my caloric intake. The kids noticed right away that daddy is not feeling well and are doing their best to be good and keep out of the way but it's hard for them being stuck back at home after 3 weeks of fun in the sun with other friends and family, Penny is getting by but it's hard for her too. How could it not be? I've been functioning as a normal husband for the past 3 months but am now basically a third dependent for her to fuss over and worry about. I don't know how she keeps her wits about her sometimes. She's amazing.

On a more positive note, I had a good talk with my naturopathic oncologist in Fort Langley yesterday. It had been about 9 months since our last discussion so he had some new developments for me to check out. A couple of the companies are based in Canada and are doing trials in Europe while another is based in the US. I have a substantial amount of reading and research to do on those fronts but it was refreshing to know that there are constantly new treatments being developed.

I can't wait to enjoy my good week next week.