Perforated?

Penny and I went to see Dr. Buie yesterday in his clinic. It was an appointment we had scheduled months ago to talk about the latest and greatest events in my treatment. We talked about the drain being back in and how much I hate it. Then he looked at what was coming out of the drain (I've had lots of flow and weird food-like sediment lately) and said "Wow, that looks like poo". That led him to think that when they replaced the drain, they may have perforated my small bowel. Good times. He said it's not as bad as it sounds but I don't really believe him. Tomorrow they are doing a test to see where exactly the drain is positioned. That should tell them if my small bowel is perforated or not and if the abscess is growing, shrinking or staying the same. I can't wait for them to fool around in my butt again (did you catch the sarcasm there?).

The end result of all of this has not changed. Regardless of what the test shows, I will likely need surgery to fix things up down there. The surgery will likely end up being a permanent colostomy which should mean no more drain, no more infections, and no more doctors trying to shove things up my arse. I will have a permanent bag but I couldn't care less at this point. I've had a bag for more than a year and things are going fine. I'm used to it and would rather have a bag for the rest of my life than deal with drains and infections for the next few years. There is no word on when the surgery will be but I will likely talk with Buie next week about timing and to solidify a plan. As for the mets in my lung, we will have to wait for a while for them to grow so they can be removed. Hopefully that surgery can be done soon too but I'm not holding my breath.

And finally a joke for you:

An Aussie walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. 'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will promise to buy me a drink.' The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile really, really hard on the top of its head The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.' A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up........... 'I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!'