From Nicky and Bruce

The last blog entry was just before the fund raiser at the end of October.  The fundraiser was extraordinarily successful with more than $100,000 being raised.  All the funds will be used to support Carly, Andrew and Bradley’s cultural, educational and sporting activities.  We are all so grateful for the extraordinary generosity of all who contributed.  All of the kids are demonstrating skills for which the extra funding will be rewarded.

The huge success of the fundraiser is due to the incredible amount of work put in by a large number of volunteers and friends.  Heather and Jim; Nicole; Vicky; Julie; Gill; Heather and Randy; Nancy; Melissa; Wendy; Kara; and of course Penny.  If I have missed people, please accept my apologies, when one names people, someone invariably may be unintentionally overlooked. From the bottom of all of our hearts, I thank you for the incredible amount of hard work, in initiating, organizing, planning and carrying out the event.  I think that the 250 or so people that were there all had a good time and a fun evening.

There is one person who has never received enough credit for all that she did through the almost 6 years of Dan’s ordeal; that of course is Penny.  Dan’s first trip to the ER was on their wedding anniversary where he spent the customary hours waiting and being poked and proded.  Right from that day, she was there working and supporting him through all of his treatments, surgeries, radiations, chemos and the resulting recoveries, nausea, lack of energy and just general misery.  Penny was the one who fed and looked after Carly and Andrew, organized and carried out the running of the house and was responsible for all of the shopping.  It was Penny who helped with the medical research and attended doctor’s consultations and astutely quizzed the doctors on the various treatment options and was there to receive both the good news and the bad.  In the end she became extremely knowledgeable about the medical system, medications and was keenly aware of the likely effects on Dan. And then, contradicting all medical expectations, Bradley came into their lives.  He has been a joy to all.  Penny, we  often think about all that you have done and have been very grateful for all of your love and caring, but have not expressed it often enough or volubly enough. 

Dan was born on 18^th January 38 years ago.  To commemorate the event Penny, Carly, Andrew, and Bradley came to Victoria to be with Nicky, Matt and me.  We had some pretty typical west coast January days over that weekend, some sun, lots of cloud and some rain.  Dan would have been right at home with the weather in his fleece and topped by a gore-tex jacket.   Over the weekend we visited the Shaw Ocean Discovery Centre, played on the beach, found some little rock crabs, and went for a swim (at the local recreation centre; the water in the inlet is a bit cool these days!), all things that Dan delighted in.  Carly and Andrew took their 6’ kayaks out for a little spin while Nicky, Penny, Bradley and I were in the canoe.  Penny went for a run, Uncle Matt took Andrew fishing (no luck) and for birthday dinner we had some barbequed salmon and, for desert, Dan’s favourite, carrot cake with cream cheese icing.  It was a memorable weekend!

Penny has been struggling over the past several months to get the house organized and come to grips with the new reality of life without Dan.  The struggle continues. The depth of their relationship is evident every day, they were a real team, and as the saying goes, were joined at the hip.  He is missed immensely.

Penny is thinking about her employment future.  In the current environment of low energy prices I don’t expect that there are many, if any, opportunities for a clever petroleum geologist in Calgary. 

I will close this blog entry with the anonymous comment that was made in response to Dan’s blog entry on 08 April 2014 following his back surgery to remove a tumour.  There was a photograph of him out on the street for the first time with his walker, the sun was shining, it was warm and the snow was melting, and he, as usual, was smiling…….

Anonymous said...

“Dan you my friend, are inspirational.

Let’s face it, most people in today’s society have no clue what adversity really is. I’m certainly one of those people. If I can’t get my PVR to work properly, I’m sad for days.

When I read your postings, I think here is a guy that is facing adversity that I cannot imagine, and he fights. He fights, he’s upbeat, he addresses it and he’s a warrior in every respect. I know that you’ve seen some dark moments with this, but you fight physically and you fight mentally, and it’s inspirational.

Whenever I encounter something difficult with my own life, and I read your postings, I think “Dan fights, he’s climbing a mountain and he’s fighting, so I can sure as hell fight like he does and get through what I’m doing.”

Maybe this is just the way that you are, and maybe you don’t think twice about it. But make sure you give yourself credit for physical and mental warrior that you are. The fact that this posting begins with “Today has been great” and it’s a photo of you in a walker after having back surgery to remove a tumor from your damn spine. Do you know how many people in Calgary at this exact moment in their regular lives cannot muster the appreciation for life and say the words “today has been great”. This posting and photo in one moment says it all. You are special and awesome and a fighter and an inspiration and we all love you.

I’m about to spend the rest of my day sitting at my desk and working. But other than kissing my kids goodnight when I get home, there will be nothing more meaningful or important or inspirational that I will do today after reading this posting.

Thank you.”

This was our Dan, we all saw this in him but weren’t able to say it as eloquently and  gritty as this.  Thank you anonymous!